My apologies for the long delay. The holidays kept me away from my keyboard. And sparked this post.
I feel like the last few years of my life have been lived long distance.
My husband and I met in college. I was finishing my master’s and he was finishing his second bachelor’s. When he initially decided to go back to school, he had wanted to get a master’s, but then he realized that he wanted to join the Air Force. And apparently, if you want to commission as an officer, you have to get an undergraduate degree. So that’s what he did.
We worked in the same office on campus that summer. He was one of only two male student workers, whereas there were at least six of us females. All the girls were trying to get him and I together and they constantly told me that we should date. But I wasn’t interested. Because he was in the military.
Not that I’ve ever had a problem with the military. It’s just that, well, I never wanted to be a military wife. As a youngest child, I’ve been pretty selfish for most of my life. I’m very strong willed and stubborn, and those are simultaneously my best and worst qualities. Unsurprisingly (considering my line of work), I’m also very scheduled. I decided at the age of sixteen that I wanted to work in accounting, and I’ve been on that path ever since. I used to tell my college boyfriend that I was like an arrow: very focused and to the point; I could see my target and I shot right to it. He, on the other hand, was more of a boomerang, although that’s another story for another day.
Being the scheduler that I am, I had my life plan very well orchestrated. Start working in public accounting, get married, have kids and switch to corporate accounting. Live in the same state my whole life. Clean, simple, perfect. Being a military wife did not exactly yield the comfortable life that I was shooting for.
Despite that fact that my now husband and I ate lunch in the conference room together every day and talked almost constantly at work, I was oblivious to my feelings for him. I was so focused on the fact that I didn’t want the future he wanted that I refused to admit even to myself that I liked him. Then one day he was on an errand and missed our lunch, and in that moment I realized how much I had been enjoying spending time with him. I imagine my brain was screaming in protest, but I followed my heart and starting dating him anyway.
Before we even started dating, I knew that he would be moving after graduation. He already had his orders and he was stationed in the South. And I knew I didn’t want to move. And yet I continued dating him.
After we had been dating about seven months, he brought up marriage. It completely freaked me out. First of all, if you remember from this post, I’ve had my share of long-term relationships. And three of those relationships had been longer than the seven months we had been dating. This was not the way things worked out. It wasn’t rational. Who talks about marriage when you’ve only been dating seven months? Crazy people, that’s who.
And yet I was considering it. Even though I knew he was moving in two months. Even though I knew that I had already accepted a job with my DREAM company (that did not involve moving to another state). Even though he was in the military. This was all kinds of complexity that I had been trying to avoid. And yet I went through with it all.
I realize that I titled this post “Long Distance” and have yet to discuss it. Sorry about that. If you’re going to continue to read this blog, you’ll have to get used to my long-windedness. And my made up words…
Because I care about you and your well-being, I’m going to end this post here. I’ve already carried on far too long and I haven’t even gotten to the long distance part. But I promise I’ll be back soon with Part 2. I’m sure you’ll be on the edge of your seat until then…